welcome to the church of jeffery

in the beginning, there was nothing but jeffery, and he was very lonely. so he farted and created the universe. he then begin traveling around the universe and was very happy. jeffery then went to earth and found it to be the most beautiful of his creations. he then farted on earth and his fart created plants, fungus, animals, insects, and people. humans quickly became his favorite creations and he gave them the gift of higher intelligence than all the creatures on the earth. thousands of years later a group of people were being enslaved by the king of north egypt and his nobles. jeffery was very sad to see this. so jeffery sent nathan to the king of north egypt and convince him to free the slaves. nathan went before the king of north egypt and told him to free his slaves or else. or else what, you have no power here. spoke the king. if you don't free the slaves, jeffery will revive your mother. nathan proclaimed. that's a dumb joke. the king told nathan. just then the king heard his mother's voice and the king began to panic. the king's mother began yelling at the king and the king told nathan he will free the slaves if he will send his mother back to her grave. free the slaves first. nathan demanded. the king quickly mad a decree freeing all the slaves in his kingdom. just as he signed the decree his mother began to return to her grave. who is your god? the king asked. jeffery. nathan replied. the king then made a second decree protecting the followers of jeffery. and nathan went home.